you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
