She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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