She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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