At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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