I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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