his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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