Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize