I met the friendliest cop last night
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
