Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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