another moral hangover. fuck.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
