Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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