My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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