he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i've created a new STD.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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