I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
