I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
