help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Randomize