so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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