Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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