so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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