I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
