no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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