cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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