I wish I only lived at night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
