I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
