we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
