i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
