Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize