You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
