Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
