i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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