Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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