What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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