I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
