Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
