i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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