You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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