Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
