you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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