She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
