Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
