Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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