i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
