so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
