i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
