i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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