If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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