It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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