yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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