NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
