I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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