just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
