Sry I called you an 8
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
