I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
