He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
