I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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