Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
