Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
