who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize