kristin has been a bad kristin
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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