At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She said her name was "party"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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