he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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