just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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