i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
