well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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