Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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